Recently re-elected President of world football’s governing body Sepp Blatter has appointed Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi as head of the organisation’s ethics committee, it was announced today. The committee has been set up to investigate internal and external claims of corruption within FIFA.
“We believe we have found the right man for the job,” said Mr. Blatter in a press conference today. “This man stands for everything FIFA believes in. Although I have always maintained that FIFA is completely corruption free, I’m sure Mr. Berlusconi will do a thorough job and calm everyone’s fears.”
FIFA has been under the spotlight in recent weeks due to allegations of delegates selling votes in both the recent presidential elections, and in the build up to the 2018/2022 World Cup host elections. Mr. Berlusconi however is skeptical that anything untoward has gone on.
“Take it from a man with integrity, loyalty and respect for both himself and his countrymen, FIFA is a clean and legitimate organisation. I have had many in depth conversations with Mr. Blatter, Jack Warner and others near the top of the tree before taking this job. They assured me that these allegations are all a conspiracy cooked up by the British media, who were no doubt upset about losing their World Cup bid.”
Rumours have circulated within the Swiss media that, upon accepting the job, the Italian PM left FIFA headquarters carrying a large duffle bag he was not carrying when he entered the building. Mr. Berlusconi shrugged this off, however, “I was going to the gym after the meeting, but I accidently forgot my gym clothes. The good people at FIFA were kind enough to lend me some. It is, after all, and athletic organization.
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