Former Bosnian-Serb military leader and war crimes defendant Ratko Mladic today revealed he and recently deceased al-Qaeda leader Osama Bin Laden have been in competition for the ultimate championship of hide-and-seek
Ratko Mladic stood in The Hague earlier today and declared, “I am the champion, and none of you can take that away from me.” The visibly disgusted court pressed him on what it was he meant, to which Mr. Mladic replied, “I stayed hidden for 6 years longer than Osama, and with only minimal help from my Government. The trophy is being fed-ex’d to me as we speak!”
He went on to explain that he had been in contact with Bin Laden shortly after the 9/11 atrocities, at which point an agreement was reached and a trophy was bought, to be given to whoever stayed hidden for the longest. “Even if we’d started from that point, I still would have won.” finished Mr. Mladic.
The war crimes tribunal have promised to add a further 5 years to any sentence passed down for Mr. Mladic, “for not only being one of the most despicable human beings to have walked the planet, but for being a smug bastard as well.”
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