The White Elephant in the Room

Both sides of the Alternative Vote debate have used anti-BNP posters in their respective campaigns. This has subsequently given the BNP free publicity. The BNP get so much of this from debates and news coverage that I think it may be time to turn this disgusting side of British politics into the white elephant in the room.

Since Nick Griffin went on Question Time, an edition which saw the program’s ratings quadruple, the BNP have been a main stay in the media. Politicians point at them to say “at least we’re not as bad as them” and the majority of the public shake there heads and tut at how despicable these people are. Britain loves a hate figure, after all.

The problem is there is a small pocket of the population, disaffected and usually poorly educated, who are easily manipulated. This group of people may see the BNP as the party who speak for them, and with that they will switch from being someone who usually would not be remotely interested in politics to part of the BNP’s ever-growing vote share.

You may think I’m doom mongering and am jumping to conclusions. But shortly after the Question Time episode my friend found a particularly disturbing Youtube channel. It contained several webcam rants praising the BNP and their politics, and the person ranting just happened to go to school with us.

He was younger than me and I didn’t know him at all, but I was aware of who he was, and that he was bullied and had learning difficulties. These are, unfortunately, exactly the types of people who the BNP attract. It is exploitative, yes, but this is not helped by the amount of exposure they get. And it is even worse for politicians to consistently point out just how awful they are. Don’t get me wrong, if one political party had to be bullied it should be the BNP, but it is bullying. Just look at that edition of Question Time. Some people, possibly like the person from my school, can identify with that.

So drop the beating and just ignore. The world will be a much happier place if we didn’t have to hear about Nick Griffin and his ugly politics. Let him pay for his own publicity.

A Man That Makes Me Want To Grow A Beard

On his Screenwipe program a few years ago Charlie Brooker had a wonderful running segment called “The 10 Biggest Cocks in Advertising.” I’ve posted some links below, and I would like to make a late edition to the list.

Gillette have had issues with advertising ever since “the curse”. Having paid Tiger Woods. Thierry Henry and Roger Federer amounts of money that would make Donald Trump blush to advertise Gillette products the company found itself in a bind after they all had a rather spectacular fall from grace. Woods cheated on his wife repeatedly and, for a bizarre couple of weeks, was the biggest news story in the world. Thierry Henry handled the ball deliberately in a world cup qualifier to cheat his team to victory. Roger Federer, well it wasn’t so much a fall from grace, he just lost a couple of tennis matches. It was definitely time for a rebrand.

Unfortunately they employed a man to advertise their new ProGlide range that is so irritating it beggars belief. He makes you want to put Mika on full volume just to drown him out. The man enters a random bathroom with a camera crew and an infuriating “whoop!” before accosting a man mid-shave. After the shaver complains about his current razor, the new Gillette ProGlide is presented to him by the cocky asshole, and, by Jove; the new razor is only bloody better. The horrible man has saved the day, and he proudly proclaims that the new razor will turn “skeptics in to believers.” It’s a bloody razor! The only time I’d be skeptical is if it was made out of wine gums, or had a severed ear next to it or something.

Most annoyingly of all, the advert is on roughly 7,000,000 times a day. Gillette ProGlide man, congratulations! You are my biggest cock in advertising.

And for the record, I quite like Mika.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wiwmYjk9ARA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ik7bDGQ4uO8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wS5TikydXgM

Shameless Plug Alert!

This blog post is a bit of a cheat, as I’m not writing anything new, just shamelessly plugging stuff I’ve already written. Think of this post as the Dave channel or UK Gold. If you like this blog, get yourself over to http://thehaddock.co.uk/wordpress It’s an online satirical newspaper, which I have recently started writing for. Here are some of my stories. Enjoy!

http://www.thehaddock.co.uk/wordpress/?p=2980

http://www.thehaddock.co.uk/wordpress/?p=2973

http://www.thehaddock.co.uk/wordpress/?p=3046

http://www.thehaddock.co.uk/wordpress/?p=3039

http://www.thehaddock.co.uk/wordpress/?p=3098

http://www.thehaddock.co.uk/wordpress/?p=3101

The Rise of the Smug and Bored

This week a group of activists, led by the Taxpayers Alliance, announced they would be holding “The Rally Against Debt” on May 14^th. The demonstration is for showing the government support over their public sector cuts, and is a direct response to the TUC organized anti-cuts protest, which saw around 500,000 people descend upon London.

The Chief organizers for the event are Matthew Sinclair, one of the directors of the Taxpayers Alliance, and Annabelle Fuller, a former aide to Ukip leader Nigel Farage. The guidelines for the march, as outlined on the rally’s website, say "Any visits to Fortnum & Mason's by protesters will only be to marvel at their selection of quality goods and perhaps make the occasional purchase. Bonfires will be strictly forbidden: it's out of season anyway. Trips to see Vodafone and other high street chains will result in congratulations to the company for providing jobs and growth in the UK." This was a hilarious nod to the minority protesters who caused trouble at the TUC rally.

First things first. Why would anyone in their right mind want to publicly back the cuts? If you are in favor of them then surely you can be in favor of them in private. To march in support of them is rubbing it in the faces of the thousands of people who are going to lose their jobs over the next year.

Since when have there been demonstrations supporting what the government is doing? Surely the whole point of staging protests is to oppose something. That’s why they’re called protests! For this demonstrations you might as well have the cabinet be driven around on an open top bus through London, throw in some cheerleaders and some flags and call it a pep-rally.

The people organizing are not the most appetizing people. The Taxpayers Alliance is a ridiculous organization, which in no way incorporates all UK taxpayers. In fact one of their directors doesn’t even pay tax as he lives in France. Ukip is a political party who are short on actual policies, mostly they just don’t want to be part of Europe anymore.

The fact is that they are being deliberately antagonistic. The people who participate in this march won’t have been affected by the cuts, don’t like the TUC, they are clearly rather delusional and want to force the other side in to confrontation. This is why their rally was announced so far in advance. They want anti-cuts protesters to come out, for some of them to get violent as they did last time, which will lessen the credibility of the anti-cuts movement. A movement which is being roundly ignored anyway.

These people just seem to me to be smug and bored. They’ve got nothing better to do with their weekends then to get behind a cause which means absolutely nothing. The rally is pointless.

So if you support the cuts then that is fine. Just don’t shout about it.

April Fools!

April Fools Day has come and gone, with some absolutely cracking pranks being conducted by the media.

I, too, participated in the joy. I sent a text message to my housemate saying that our council tax was going to be doubled. He wasn’t a happy boy, but caught on to the joke a day later.

I reported on Facebook that I was moving to New York in 3 weeks. A couple of people almost bought it, but generally I just got abuse with my personal favorite comment being “I hope this is true. Good riddance.”

My final prank was the riskiest. I e-mailed my Dad telling him I had got a stranger pregnant. This really backfired as he sent me the nicest e-mail in the world back reassuring me that everything would be fine etc. I doused the flames very quickly with the rather pathetic response “I feel awful now. April Fools!!!!” I don’t think he’s forgiven me yet.

Anyway, here are a few of my personal favorites from last Friday.

http://www.rfu.com/News/2011/March/News%20Articles/310311_Plane_kicking.aspx

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/rugbyunion/club/8419754/Wasps-to-fly-the-flag-for-St-George-for-charity-game-against-Bath-at-Twickenham.html

http://mail.google.com/mail/help/motion.html

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2011/04/01/coalition-plans-tax-on-fresh-air-to-help-improve-environment-115875-23029434/

Don't look directly at The Sun

On a day when there were two civil wars being fought, one of which Britain is directly involved with, still the possibility of a nuclear meltdown following a tsunami in Japan, debates about the controversial NHS reforms, further cuts to the MoD being announced and an ongoing murder investigation going on in Wiltshire, The Sun on Monday opted to go for the front page headline “I’m three times the size of my twin.” That’s right. The front page of the newspaper with the highest circulation in the UK went with a hard hitting real life story about a twin who has a condition which makes her fat on a day when all those other things were happening.

I think it might have been the twin thing which swung the decision. I mean no one wants to see an individual person with a glandular condition on the front page of their paper. It’s all about the juxtaposition you see. One twin is fat despite eating healthily, and one twin is thin despite apparently gorging on cakes and chips all day.

I think it might just be me, but this isn’t really news, is it? This is the kind of thing you’d find in the true-life story section of Take a Break magazine, right? As touching as the story is, how on earth is it headline worthy? Even the whole pointless furor about Wayne Rooney swearing at a camera would be better.

I hate the way The Sun takes itself so seriously. If you’re going to fill you pages with lies, tits and casual racism at least have the decency to admit to it. Don’t pretend you’re a real newspaper. It’s like the Radio Times suddenly proclaiming the magazine to be the home of investigative journalism just because Brian Tru-May said stupid, newsworthy things in an interview with them.

This is the publication that proudly proclaims to have won elections for David Cameron and Tony Blair by backing them. How arrogant and self-important do you have to be to make these claims?

The worst thing about The Sun, and there are many more bad things I haven’t mentioned, is how it treats it’s readers like idiots. They carefully explain each story in the way a parent explains to a toddler how a toilet works. It’s patronizing beyond belief.

This underestimation of the audience is why The Sun got stick for their story about Gordon Brown misspelling a dead soldiers name in a letter of condolence to the parents. The Sun thought the readers would lap up anything anti-Brown like thirsty dogs. The readers, however, thought ‘well that was an incredibly nice of him to take time out from running the country to write a personal letter. Plus, he only has around 30% visibility so misreading things must be commonplace for him. I’m not buying this.’

What I do like about The Sun, however, is the little text box at the top of page 3, which usually says something like “Becky, 19, agrees that the no-fly zone is a good idea. “On the whole, if it has the back of both The Arab League as well as The UN then it is only right that it is imposed. Gaddafi should not be allowed to slaughter and maim his own people any longer.”” Becky said that! The one with her breasts out!

But everything else I truly despise.

The Debt Generation

Watching the student protests was a breath of fresh air. It has been a long time since the British public has showed such blatant animosity towards the powers that be. Who can blame them for getting a little anarchic? The 3 biggest protest marches of the last 10 year; the countryside alliance march, the anti Iraq war march and last weekends anti cuts march, have been completely ignored by the respective governments.

I was comparatively lucky with the cost of my education. I managed to do my bachelors just before Labour introduced the first top up fees. Therefore my entire 3 years costs slightly more then a single term will cost at Oxford shortly. Even the MA I’m studying for only costs a little over £4000 for the 2 years. I’m in roughly £10000 worth of debt so I can understand the sheer frustration younger people must be feeling over the fact they will owe 5 times as much.

I think the hardest thing to swallow for young people about the top up fees, and to an extent the cuts in general, are the generation that are handing the ruling down. The “baby boomer” generation went to University for free, had grammar schools to support the brightest amongst the poorer classes, had a much better housing market that made it easier for them to purchase a property and they had a much freer job market.

They’re the same generation who caused the financial meltdown, which the younger generations are going to have to pay for. A meltdown, which has consequently collapsed the housing market and has forced the government into massive cuts in the public sector, as well as 100’s of business’s going under in the private sector. The outcome of this is that our generation are seriously going to struggle in the housing market, and getting a job is going to get more and more difficult. No wonder the student protests got violent.

It is unfair to bundle an entire generation of people together, and it was obviously very difficult to foresee this outcome. It is just a little hard to swallow for us young folk. If our generation is as careless again then this will happen all over again, and it will be even more difficult to get back. There is a lot of pressure on the shoulders of young people, and perhaps lumbering them with £50,000 worth of debt before they’ve even got started seems ridiculous.