The British public was left ashamed and guilt ridden last night after Tesco issued a statement explaining how disappointed they were about the lack of spending that went on over Christmas.
“We’ve asked you time and time again to spend, but you’re just not listening are you?” the statement read. “I’m not mad this time, I’m honestly not. But you’ve really disappointed us. We’re just very sad.”
Tesco then swept out of the room leaving the British public alone to think about what they had done. After a long and soul searching think, the public then went on to internet banking in order to start up E-ISA’s to start saving for next Christmas, swapped their mobile services and insurance policies to Tesco and pledged to never go anywhere near a Sainsbury’s ever again.
Tesco eventually came back in to the room, at which point the British public showed what they had done to correct their mistakes. Tesco gave a rye and tired smile before they delivered another statement saying, “Okay, maybe we were a little harsh on you. As long as you are genuinely sorry and you promise to never do it again you can eat our delicious Tesco’s finest pork and leak sausages for supper.”
The British public greatfully agreed and popped off to Tesco express to pick up some cake for everyone to share.
For more lovely satire go to http://thehaddock.co.uk/
No comments:
Post a Comment