The Wiltshire town of Devizes was in chaos last night after a small demonstration, protesting the Olympic torch route, ended up in a full scale riot. 476 people have been arrested in what is said to be the worst night of violence Wiltshire has ever seen.
“It was like the meltdown of society,” said one resident, who did not want to be named. “Cars and building were on fire, effigies of Sir Steve Redgrave were burnt and someone wrote “Fuck You Lord Coe” across the front door of the town hall. I may have stolen a few steaks from the local butchers, but their prices are very unreasonable.”
The protest started after it was announced that the Olympic torch procession was going to bypass the town. A few hundred people took to the streets sporting anti athlete placards. But the demonstration soon got out of hand after they found out the nearby market town of Marlborough would be on the route.
“What makes Marlborough so bloody special? It’s elitism!” said one rioter, disguised as a raccoon. “The powers that be obviously aren’t aware of our Bowls Club’s dominations of Marlborough over the years.” The man then scurried away to set fire to a nearby Ford Focus.
Local Conservative MP Claire Perry was quick to condemn the “barbaric and primal” violence. “I’m just as disappointed as the next Devizesion. . . or Devizesman or whatever we’re called. But violence is clearly not the answer. The worst thing about it is we can’t even blame the ethnic minorities, like our party usually does, as we’re in Wiltshire.”
The violence subsided shortly before dawn as around 2000 people set fire to a giant Olympic torch mock up and held there own procession. Mrs. Perry has promised a full investigation into why this happened.
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