My New Least Favourite Person

Whilst doing research for a recent piece of work I had the sever displeasure of reading 5 opinion pieces by Daily Mail nut-job Richard Littlejohn. Now it is hard to articulate my utter disdain for this man, so what I’ve decided to do is publish the short hand notes I took whilst reading his work. The piece I was working on was a parody piece written by a Littlejohn style writer. Here’s what I came up with. Please excuse the language, I got a little angry.

· Start off sympathetically. End up criticizing what you were being sympathetic towards in the first place.

· Accuse whole nations and groups of people of things with absolutely no proof e.g. calling the Japanese “militantly racist” despite saying you know nothing about their culture earlier in the paragraph.

· Pretend to be representing Britain with your opinions. Critical patriotism idiocy.

· Use only negative language. Never mention anything positive.

· Criticize modern Britain as much as possible e.g. our “ghastly cult of sentimentality.

· Refer to the left as often as possible, and refer to them as a single, evil entity

· Anything non-Christian is pure evil. Especially Islam.

· Refer to Daily Mail readers who have written in. Use their points of view to confirm your argument, despite people who write into the Daily Mail being equally as fucking crazy.

· Trivialize tragedy.

· Make claims, but don’t bother to check facts. Achieve this with language like “I may be mistaken”.

· What ever you’re writing about, always come back to how it affects Britain, even if it’s irrelevant.

· False accusations are always fun. Especially if you make them seem substantial with things you’ve made up.

· Always, in every single bloody piece, use the term “political correctness gone mad”. Its good to have a catch phrase.

· Most importantly: SENSATIONALISE EVERYTHING.

So if these qualities in a writer are up your street then get over to the Mail website and check him out. Personally I am debating whether to pack in my job, say goodbye to my loved ones and spending the rest of my life trying to make Richard Littlejohn’s life a living nightmare. I think I’ll start with acquiring planning permission for a mosque to be built on the street he lives on.

The man is an eyelash away from inciting racial hatred, yet he writes for a paper with one of the highest circulation rates in the country. The man must be stopped.

For more information on Richard Littlejohn fast forward to 4 mins 50 on this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGAOCVwLrXo